OK, I've muted the sound. I'm looking at her now. Still nothing. A poor man's Winona Ryder. They're both Jewish and have small noses. Coincidence?
Here is Ricky Gervais. Ah, the sweet sounds of dropped consonants.
Oh, it's, um, the famous guy. Forrest Gump. I still can't see him as an institution. He seems to be laying low lately. This is good. I hope he's catching up on his hobbies.
"The Kids are Alright" won- was that best comedy? It was pretty good. A lot of women are going to run on stage now. No, it's a mixed crowd. Is that the producer? Happily, Mark Ruffalo is behind him. Eye candy for the ladies. Oh, and there's Colin Firth. Really, I always forget that actors have a bit of appeal. I think they've rounded up all the charming ones tonight.
There's Lisa Cholodenko. Is that a Ukrainian name? Her girlfriend is Wendy from Prince and the Revolution whose hairstyle I ineptly emulated in eighth grade. She was also a great keyboardist. I don't have much to say about Lisa Cholodenko although I've seen several of her movies.
I'm heading over to another website to look at the red carpet arrivals. A lot of beige. A lot of red.
The best dress is green. Elizabeth Moss. She looks really pretty and knows how to accessorize. I hate to say it, but Natalie Portman also looks good. Interesting.
Back to the show... a national treasure according to Ricky Gervais. Who? Oh, Sandra Bullock. Not the Queen?
OK. Bangs! It's necessary for older ladies. Bad mauve color. Ah, the men! The actors! Mostly cute men. Give it to Jesse Eisenberg. Oh, Colin Firth won. That's a good thing, he was great in "The King's Speech" and he's cute too! He looks more relaxed than he did in the movie. He was acting! A king with a speech impediment- who would have thought such a role would win an award?
AH, Helena Bonham Carter. GORGEOUS! Guy Pearce- nice to see him. Geoffrey Rush is wearing a trilby. He must be bald. It's a good look.
The men of Hollywood have terrible eyesights according to the mass of spectacles. It's a spectacle!
Harvey Weinstein, fat and unsmiling and surrounded by obscure, pretty girls. Or is one of them Colin Firth's wife? Too much typing to pay attention, but it goes by more quickly. In fact, it's over! Right?
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